After I Did This, I Started to Attract Better

Allow me to reintroduce myself. For the folks that just started following me. I was married. We broke up. And now I’m out here in this crazy dating world. Of course, there was a lot that happened in between. You’ll have to dig through the old posts if you’re interested in the whole story, but here I am.

So many times I feel like an alien on a foreign planet. I’m traditional. Very traditional and like I said, I was married. I never thought I’d be in this place. A single mother out in the dating field, but such is life.

When I first stepped onto the dating scene, I realized that I was still dealing with a lot of baggage and issues from my marriage. As a result, I was very closed off and the smallest little perceived infraction was a reason for me to cut a man off. It was obvious that I had pain points that were easily triggered and I realized that if I wanted to have a better dating experience, I would have to stop dating momentarily and focus on my healing.

I took myself out on solo dates. I sought out experiences that I always wanted to have. I traveled alone. I learned how to play tennis. I had newfound self-love and became deeply invested in my happiness.

When I started dating again, I wanted to meet a man who “just did it for me” but I was independently happy and fulfilled. If I never found the said man, that would be ok with me, because I was proactively building a life that I enjoyed and I would rather be solo and happy, than compromise my non-negotiables and happiness, just to be in a relationship.

This attitude translates and permeates the air before I even open my mouth. My new confidence impacted the quality of men that I started attracting.When I’m dating and something is not working for me or I start noticing something I do not like, I calmly share my perspective or what I need. If the man is unwilling or unable to see eye to eye, I move on.

When you waste time hoping or expecting someone to change, you take space away from the right person for you. If you are serious about attracting better, you can’t keep doing this.

In this vast world, life gets hectic. Many people desire a companion to share their life with, but you don’t have to compromise what you value and who you are, to achieve that. Be intentional about your time. Be selective about who you spend your time with. Be courageous and committed to your happiness and self-worth and do not settle for someone who isn’t where you need to be to have a fulfilling and healthy relationship.