They Don’t Just Love Them, Men Truly Desire Bitches

Shortly after the COVID bans were lifted, my friend needed me to be his Vanna Black at a pop-up event. He owns a clothing store and wanted a gorgeous woman to help him reel in customers. I obliged. The event was a mashup of comedy, music, food, and drinks. After being on lockdown for nearly a year, it always feels so good to be social and amongst the people. As I was standing by a clothing rack of coats, a short man approached me. He wanted to know if I was the coat-check girl. Incredulous at this suggestion, I told him “no, why would he think I’m the coat check girl?”

The convo descended into corny banter that eventually culminated in him asking for my number. I declined. When he asked me why? I simply replied, “I don’t date.” (This was a lie, but I declined to add the rest of the sentence. I don’t date men like him.) To my surprise, he rather obnoxiously and arrogantly retorted, “Your big fat loss.” Of course, I laughed. I mean, this man was short. His breath smelled like a garbage truck. He was not attractive by most people’s standards. How on earth could it be my loss? Suddenly, I was slightly annoyed at myself. Why had I been so gracious to him? Perhaps, if I had delivered the brutal honesty that he so desperately needed, he wouldn’t be strutting away like he was the bee’s knees. After all, men will always appreciate and desire a “bitch”.

What exactly is a “bitch”?

In this instance, “bitch” is being used to describe a no-nonsense kind of woman. A woman who knows her worth and her actions supports and expresses that. She has boundaries and while she would love the company of a man, she doesn’t need it. Especially, if he doesn’t respect her or behaves in a way that would suggest that he doesn’t value her. She is in control of her emotions. When a suitor’s treatment is subpar, she doesn’t cry and grovel about why he’s behaving this way. She doesn’t nag a man and complain about the way she is being treated. She simply walks away. She removes herself “when love is no longer being served”. She is confident that she is a hot commodity and there will be tons of men that will meet and exceed her standards, and these said men, will each pursue her with no abandon. She does not waste time and energy trying to make “fetch happen”. Instead, she knows her efforts are better spent on nurturing and pampering herself and the connections that are meaningful to her. In short, a “bitch” is a woman whose world does not begin and end with a man and she resides in a place of a man being an addition to her plate, not the entire dish.

Why do bitches stand out?

In the current age of low effort pursuit and “Netflix and chill” type dates, men believe that women are so desperate for their company and/or to be in a relationship. So desperate in fact that the bar is set so low, it’s practically on the ground. Many women don’t have backbones or boundaries. They are so anxious for a man to claim them, that they have very few requirements. It’s boring, to say the least. How can you even miss someone who is always available and right there? So in this day and age where women are practically doing backflips to accommodate a man, a woman with standards and confidence in who she is, always stands out.

I’ve been nice and I’ve been bitchy - Men Love Bitches

I’ve been both. I think my default is being nice and chill. It’s just who I am. However, I’ve had to experience time and time again, men simply don’t appreciate the sweetness. Being frank and firm gets their attention. It ignites the “hunter” in them that is motivated by facing a challenge. Additionally, there is something about being too nice that seems to scream “overcompensation” or “fear”. Women gain absolutely nothing by being someone that they aren’t, except disappointment further down the line.

It’s better to be unabashedly you, and if you lose some in the beginning, so be it. At least, you will end up with a man who loves you for your authentic self, as opposed to the woman who is only being the woman that she feels she should be.

It’s not about being argumentative or difficult just because. Instead, it’s about preserving your identity and being yourself. The winning combination that the right kind of man will appreciate and value.

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