How to Become the Prize In a Relationship

A friend of mine used to have a crush on this guy. She was cool with his brother and truly wanted to date the man. However, although her crush had seen her around, he never asked her out. I’m not sure he even spoke to her casually at all. She wanted to date him. She asked me what I thought. I told her not to do it. She asked others what they thought. They told her why not go ahead and approach him? After all, you’re a modern woman and we are not in the stone ages, so what do you have to lose? If only men were that simple. Men value what they work hard for. Women are not any different.This perspective only applies if you want to be regarded as the prize in any potential relationship.

What defines “the prize”?

The prize is typically defined as the person who has options. They have an intrinsic sense of self-worth and standards that they believe will be met.Therefore, they have no problem holding out for what they truly want. The prize in a relationship has options and several potential partners competing for his or her attention. They have a healthy sense of self-worth, understand their value and are confident that anyone would be fortunate to secure a relationship with them. More importantly, other people recognize the value in a “prize” and as a result are fine with pursuing the prize.

The Prize has an Elevated Sexual Market Value

Sexual Market Value is what you’re worth on the dating market. To put it crassly, how hot of a commodity are you? How many people want you and don’t mind putting in the necessary work to obtain you? While I do believe that anyone of us can manifest the relationship that we want, read my post about it here. You’re sexual market value can affect how easily you manifest your desired mate. Furthermore, this is not something that is set in stone. There are actions you can take to directly impact your value. A few things that influence your SMV are: appearance, age, personality, confidence, your perceived relationship behavior or contribution, etc.

The dating dynamic directly influences the relationship dynamic

Returning to my example at the start of this piece. I like to be deemed the prize in my relationship because it directly influences how a man will treat me. As a result, I never, ever pursue a man. I do not initiate contact, and I never, ever lead. I feel most comfortable in a relationship with a traditional dynamic and as a result, I make sure I set myself up for this from the onset of the relationship. Allowing him to initiate contact and pursue me, ensures that I receive the dynamic that I desire. If you are ok with doing the leading and pursuing, then by all means, ask a man out.

Many people don’t believe that men and women are different. I disagree with that. We are equal, but different. More specifically, we are wired differently.Most men value women that they put effort into getting. When women are too easy and too accommodating, it’s a turn off and devalues them. I wrote about that here. A man might have some fun with this kind of woman, but he certainly won’t view her as a prize and view her as having any long term potential.

You can become the prize by adopting these attitudes

• You are worthy and beautiful (inside and out). — You need to be confident that you are a phenomenal woman and anyone would be lucky to have you. Notice there is a fine line between being confident and self-absorbed. You are not egotistical but you are aware of your value and you are committed to only entertaining potential mates that understand that too.

• You are not desperate for a man or a relationship — If you are dating, it’s indicative of your desire to meet someone with whom you are compatible and can forge a successful relationship. If you are not being treated well, then you do not stick around. It doesn’t matter how great you think the man is, you love yourself enough to walk away from anyone who is not respecting you.

• You have boundaries — You meet someone and you like them. As you get to know them more, you are more and more into them. That’s natural. However, “the prize” does not abandon who they are to rent space in a potential mate’s butt. You can have a healthy balance in your life. Your sense of individuality and identity should not be sacrificed simply because you are in a relationship.

• Set high standards and stick to them — After a successful date, a man who was interested in me suggested that we Netflix and chill for our second date, due to the inclement weather at the time. I declined and said that we can reschedule when the weather improves. That was the last we spoke. Don’t be afraid that you are missing out because you laid an expectation out and the man might not like it. All you are doing is protecting yourself from dealing with subpar behavior.

• When it isn’t working, you gracefully move on — Everything ain’t for everyone. Some people that you like, won’t feel the same way about you.It sucks, but it’s just a fact of life. When you recognize this, just move on and take your dignity with you when you go. No need to beg someone or try to figure out how to appeal to them.

  
  

“The prize” identity is a mindset. It’s all about manifesting the best options and having positive dating experiences based on the way you present yourself to the world. After all, would you date you?